Curious KSHSAA Rules

The end of July and August can be a stressful time in the CatchItKansas.com office. We have football previews, a site redesign, schedules and many other tasks to accomplish to get ready for the new school year. Fortunately the Kansas High School Activities Association always supplies a bit of comic relief in the form of rule books.

About this time every year KSHSAA sends out its fall sports rule books. Most of the rules make complete sense, but some of them are a bit….curious. Here, in no particular order of curiousness, are some we found and proceeded to scratch our collective head at:

1. No Hair Pins or Jewelry in Cross County

As a former cross country runner I have heard my fair share of complaints about this rule. It bans all forms of jewelry which includes the rope/string bracelets that seemed so popular a couple years ago. Girls are also not allowed to wear metal pins in their hair or ribbons that could be considered “flowing”.

Now let’s fast forward to page nine of the tennis manual where it says “There is no restriction on jewelry worn by competitors.” Why the double standard KSHSAA? Cross Country runners want to be pretty when they compete too!

I understand that a three to five inch thin piece of string that was made as a friendship bracelet earlier that summer at camp could be used for more nefarious purposes down in the dark woods of a cross country race, but I think KSHSAA should take a leap of faith and make them legal. There can be no other reason for disallowing the string bracelets than for worry over using them as a weapon. Watches are allowed and they are much bulkier and dangerous than any string bracelet would be.

I have always hoped that some coach with a sense of humor would throw away a meet and have his varsity guys team carry a grandfather clock with them and call it their collective “watch.” I guess I’ll just keep dreaming though.

2. “Bong-Bong-Bong-Whoo!”

I am just going to throw this out there right now, I do not, and will not, claim to understand soccer and its traditions. This also spans to the chants that KSHSAA has deemed unacceptable. There are eight specific chants that KSHSAA points out as unacceptable.

Bong-Bong-Bong-Whoo is one of the eight chants that have drawn the ire of KSHSAA. According to the book it is only offending when the opposing team has the ball. This makes me wonder, what exactly does Bong-Bong-Bong-Whoo mean? What emotion does it aim to solicit? Anger? Sadness? Embarrassment? Bewilderment?

Whatever it may mean, Bong-Bong-Bong-Whoo just doesn’t strike me as an offensive, soul crushing chant. It is not nearly as bad as one of the other banned chants in the KSHSAA book as “you, you, you” is also not allowed. Makes me wonder, is it illegal to string any three pronouns together or just the second person singular you? What about if I were to chant it in a different language?

Good luck translating Bong-Bong-Bong-Whoo into a foreign dialect.

3. Conduct rules for Tennis players

In the KSHSAA rulebook it says:

“Players who use abusive or profane language, throw rackets or slam tennis balls in anger, use obscene hand or body gestures, yell or are otherwise distracting to other players, or in any way show disrespect for the dignity of their team, opponents, coaches, spectators, or meet officials shall be penalized as follows:”

It then lists a four strike system with the fourth penalty being kicked out of the tournament. This is one rule I think is too lenient. My four-year-old nephew doesn’t get that many warnings before being sat in timeout, so why should 14-18-year-olds be allowed to act out four times before getting kicked out of a match.

Coaches and spectators get kicked out on the third violation. That number should be one warning and kicked out on the second. That is, unless, we like the John McEnroe style of play. In that case let’s require everyone put on an 80’s afro wig with sweat band, tube socks, short shorts and grab some wooden rackets. Johnny Mac would be proud.

4. Football teams “draw lots” for a playoff spot

If there is a tie at the end of district play in week nine of the football season, then there is a long process to figure out who goes to the playoffs and who goes home. Number 14 on that list is to “draw lots”, which means literally to draw from a hat.

It is almost as if the tie-break rules were being made up and they got to the 13^th break and just looked around and said, “I’m tired. There is a new episode of The Office on tonight, let’s just say that after the 13^th break we draw names out of a hat. Sound good?”

There are many other tie-breaks to go to such as average margin of victory, record against teams with a .500 record or better, or even a punt, pass and kick competition between team mascots. Seriously, tell me you would not be interested in seeing a Roadrunner vs. Greenback (Frog) in Punt, Pass and Kick. I’d be there in a heartbeat.

The bottom line is, a team’s season should not come down to something as arbitrary as drawing from a hat. Since this rule exists, I hope this also means there is a sweet gold-plated top hat that exists solely for the purpose of bringing an unceremonious and arbitrary end to somebody’s season while elevating another to the playoffs.

5. Shoes must be worn at all times in cross country

The rule on this is simple in the KSHSAA book. It has a header labeled “Shoes” and one bullet point that says “Must be worn at all times!!” This rule is so important that it requires not one, but two exclamation points.

There are many studies coming out now that running barefoot is actually the most natural way to run. Shoes can often cause injuries more than preventing them. Is it not a kid’s prerogative to run barefoot if they, their parents and their coach deem it as ok?

Then what if a shoe falls off of a kid during the race? Nobody wants to stop and put a spike back on. Does that kid get disqualified for an unfortunate circumstance? I think not.

In high school I ran in a race where this happened about a quarter-mile in. The kid kept going. He ran a 5k with one shoe. Did I call cheater? No. Instead I accepted that this boy was just flat out more of a man than I was because this race went over about a half-mile of asphalt. Where many high school boys would cry, he gritted teeth and finished in the middle of the pack.

We should embrace ridiculous feats of strength and stupidity, not discourage them.